How to have your heart broken…

They say that the break-up of your first relationship after your marriage hurts the most, and they are right… They…. A few months ago I had my heart broken. I’ve healed now, but the anguish I felt at the time I needed to write about, to process the hurt. I feel in physical pain, my […]

How to see things from a different perspective….

Since moving here my son has discovered an aptitude for climbing out of my bedroom window and sitting on the apex of the kitchen roof below. Probably not his best trick or my finest parenting hour, but I admire his confidence in his agility and his freedom. So I don’t stop him from doing it. […]

How to reclaim single status

‘Don’t worry you won’t be on your own for long,’ a well-meaning male colleague said not long after my marital break-up. As though I only have value in terms of my worth to a man. I was in a state of single doom, not singledom in his eyes. He pursed his lips and looked sad. […]

How to learn the meaning of home….

Home is not a place. It’s a feeling. A white light flashed on my phone. In my eagerness to hear from a particular someone I picked it up to read the text. The disappointment was crashing; the message wasn’t from the long-awaited contact, but a friend telling me she won’t be in work today. Rather […]

How to find love in other ways…

I had my heart broken earlier in the year. It was teenager-y, painful and physically hurt. As per my way of dealing with the situation was to research and read. I knew if I read enough on the subject a way of healing would eventually materialise, and it did. I heard a psychologist talking recently […]

How to reprogramme your brain…

If you are lonely when you are alone then you are in bad company. Jean Paul Sartre I’ve had a boyfriend since I was 16, with very limited periods of singledom/doom inbetween and from the age of 14 I’ve been very aware of how I am seen within the context of the male gaze. I’m […]

How to go fishing for dates….

Chance is always powerful. Let your hook always be cast; in the pool where you least expect it, there will be fish. Ovid I love random encounters with people. I’ll often give more credence to an opinion expressed by a randomer I’ve just met than members of my own family. So it was a few […]

How to create a soundtrack for your new life….

One good thing about music. When it hits you, you feel no pain. Bob Marley It’s taken a lot of bottle for me to reboot my life. To walk away from a house I’d lived in for 20 years, as well as its contents, and to leave my husband of 10, not to mention agreeing […]