How to make the most of splendid isolation

I’ve been single for three months now. No-one in the background, no-one I’m messaging. Just me. And now the UK is in Covid19 lockdown, I’m even more just me. I’d told myself I was going to spend time on my own, and it seems now that the universe is conspiring with me to achieve that […]

How to change your mind….

For months, even years, I’ve been writing inspirational quotes in my journal. But then I realised, that to get them to stay in my head, they need to become mantras, and in order for that to happen, they need to be in front of me. In the summer I embarked on a wristband project, where […]

How to get someone out of your head…

Well, I can’t promise that I’ve successfully managed to do that yet, but I’m trying something new to see if it will work, as I need to do something otherwise I fear I may run mad. Well, maybe that’s a tad too Bronte-esque but you get the picture. I’ve been involved in a very complicated […]

How to be more confident….

We were skating, my son clinging to the plastic polar bear that was helping to guide him round the rink and my ex periodically clutching the barriers while tottering around unsteadily. I was skating round to the exit barrier when I noticed a woman coming onto the ice. She was spraying her hair and then […]

How to have your heart broken…

They say that the break-up of your first relationship after your marriage hurts the most, and they are right… They…. A few months ago I had my heart broken. I’ve healed now, but the anguish I felt at the time I wrote about in my journal, to process the hurt, and these were my thoughts: […]

How to reclaim single status

‘Don’t worry you won’t be on your own for long,’ a well-meaning male colleague said not long after my marital break-up. As though I only have value in terms of my worth to a man. I was in a state of single doom, not singledom in his eyes. He pursed his lips and looked sad. […]

How to learn the meaning of home….

Home is not a place. It’s a feeling. A white light flashed on my phone. In my eagerness to hear from a particular someone I picked it up to read the text. The disappointment was crashing; the message wasn’t from the long-awaited contact, but a friend telling me she won’t be in work today. Rather […]

How to find love in other ways…

I had my heart broken earlier in the year. It was teenager-y, painful and physically hurt. As per my way of dealing with the situation was to research and read. I knew if I read enough on the subject a way of healing would eventually materialise, and it did. I heard a psychologist talking recently […]

How to reprogramme your brain…

If you are lonely when you are alone then you are in bad company. Jean Paul Sartre I’ve had a boyfriend since I was 16, with very limited periods of singledom/doom inbetween and from the age of 14 I’ve been very aware of how I am seen within the context of the male gaze. I’m […]

How to go fishing for dates….

Chance is always powerful. Let your hook always be cast; in the pool where you least expect it, there will be fish. Ovid I love random encounters with people. I’ll often give more credence to an opinion expressed by a randomer I’ve just met than members of my own family. So it was a few […]