How to make the most of splendid isolation

I’ve been single for three months now. No-one in the background, no-one I’m messaging. Just me. And now the UK is in Covid19 lockdown, I’m even more just me. I’d told myself I was going to spend time on my own, and it seems now that the universe is conspiring with me to achieve that […]

How to burn fearlessly…

We are here to burn fearlessly…. I came across this quote recently and something about it really chimed with me. I have been trying to find myself after me and my boy’s dad split up, and some days I do well at burning brightly as me, and other days I hang my head down, as […]

How to love your body a bit more…

I’ve been thinking a lot about weight this week. I’m currently reading Martin Amis’ autobiography and I stopped to think when he talked about his father’s descent, or rather expansion, into corpulence in later life as a conscious decision made as an acceptance of his disconnection with his sexual life. That to comfort eat and […]

How to see things from a different perspective….

Since moving here my son has discovered an aptitude for climbing out of my bedroom window and sitting on the apex of the kitchen roof below. Probably not his best trick or my finest parenting hour, but I admire his confidence in his agility and his freedom. So I don’t stop him from doing it. […]

How to reclaim single status

‘Don’t worry you won’t be on your own for long,’ a well-meaning male colleague said not long after my marital break-up. As though I only have value in terms of my worth to a man. I was in a state of single doom, not singledom in his eyes. He pursed his lips and looked sad. […]

How to reprogramme your brain…

If you are lonely when you are alone then you are in bad company. Jean Paul Sartre I’ve had a boyfriend since I was 16, with very limited periods of singledom/doom inbetween and from the age of 14 I’ve been very aware of how I am seen within the context of the male gaze. I’m […]